Mar 31, 2012

So Are We Good Now?




ZARDS PRE TRADE / ZARDS POST TRADE

Record: 10-34 (.227) / 2-5 (.286)
Analysis: Winning isn't everything

Offensive Rating: 100 (29th) / 101.2 (25th)
Analysis: Improvement is improvement

Defensive Rating: 108.9 (29th) / 98.4 (2nd) 
Analysis: JFDKLJKL:DJKL:FDHJKLHFDJK!!!!

Net +/-: -8.9 (29th) / +2.8 (8th)
Analysis: If you are not the Bulls, Thunder, Sixers, Heat, Lakers, Spurs, or Pacers, we are better than you


FINAL ANALYSIS: Suck it NBA, here come the ZARDS!

Feb 7, 2012

Five Hole


The Wizards tied the Toronto Raptors Monday night, 105-105. To get there, the Wiz frittered away an 18-point lead, missed a whole bunch of free throws, and played Maurice Evans five minutes in the 4th quarter. Before the roughly 3,000 spectators (admittedly a guess, but the announced attendance is such a shameful lie we couldn't bring ourselves to repeat it) could locate the exits and turn out the lights, an additional period was played.

Jan 31, 2012

State of the League: Eastern Edition

We're a third of the way through this shortened NBA season, and watching President Obama do his thing last week put me in the mood for a State of the League. For the sake of space (I don't get paid by the word, after all. Truth be told, my editor and I are in intense negotiations over my salary, which is currently $7.25/hr below minimum wage. Feel free to weigh in on that injustice in the comment section) we're not going in depth with each squad, just taking a pulse and checking vitals. 

- Cap City